Brian left two abusive households, finds Dallas Hope

Resident lived with abusive family members, survived suicide attempt, pursues nursing education

Moving is an inherent part of Brian’s life. Brian grew up in three different states but calls Chicago home. He graduated high school in Atlanta and is a Certified Nursing Assistant. He got kicked out of his home only three days after starting his new job as a Med Tech Overnight Floor Manager at an assisted living facility. His grandfather had just passed away and the grief drove Brian’s mother to finally kick him and his sister out.

Since Brian’s mom had remarried when he was 16 years old, home didn’t feel safe anyway. His mom and sister were physically abused by his new stepdad. The new father figure influenced Brian’s mom to convert religions – something that had once been a core part of her identity and lifestyle, now completely changed.

”I don’t want to say he stole my mom from me, but he definitely has her under his arm,” Brian said. “The fact that he put his hands on my mom and my sister while I wasn’t there in the household or where no other man was to be seen, it kind of says a lot about who he is.”

Brian made his first suicide attempt after his mom and stepdad found out that he liked boys. The living situation was already unstable, but they didn’t treat Brian well after realizing he was queer and his mental health challenges became too overwhelming. Brian was in a coma for 3 days after the attempt and spent time in a mental health hospital.

“I agreed to myself years ago when I woke up out of that coma that I wasn’t going to do that [ AGAIN ].

“I agreed to myself years ago when I woke up out of that coma that I wasn’t going to do that anyway,” Brian said. “So I was like, you know what, just remove yourself from the situation, something better will come for you.”

After being kicked out, Brian stayed with his grandmother in Dallas-Fort Worth but she gave up her apartment soon after that. The two moved into Brian’s aunt’s house. Brian had stayed with his aunt in the past but she was a different person after the death of Brian’s grandfather.

“You know it’s bad when you’re drinking if you try to hide it from any of your family members,” Brian said. “This lady will kill a whole bottle of Smirnoff.”

Brian’s grandfather died after waiting for a kidney transplant but Brian’s aunt would accuse his grandmother of killing his grandfather once she started drinking. This blame for his death caused excessive tension in the household.

“My grandfather’s death, that’s really taking a toll on [her] because not only did she sound like my mom at one point… it just woke up all my past trauma, she was acting like her too,” Brian said. “They all carried the trace of my grandfather. And my grandfather, he could be mean and sometimes and snappy.”

Then in the middle of the night, Brian’s aunt became angry and started to kick and throw her pets across the room while Brian and his grandma sheltered in a bedroom together. Soon enough her accusations to Brian’s grandmother of his grandfather’s murder became death threats towards Brian’s grandmother.

“She grabbed a knife and she was like, ‘Oh, I’m going to kill you,’” Brian said. “I was just like, oh, my God, to my 70-something-year-old grandmother, are you serious? You’re a nurse too. And this? Are you – what’s going on?”

“I’ve been begging for this… since i’ve been in an abusve household. So don’t give up. Keep going, keep searching. There’s resources out there.”

Brian had already started looking for shelters long before that night and he was ready to leave. This living situation felt similar to the events that led to his suicide attempt back in Atlanta so he knew it was time to go. Brian went with his grandmother to a hotel and then stayed at his cousin’s apartment.

“[My cousin] doesn’t live with {my aunt] either, because he’s been through the things that I’ve been through with my mom in the past,” Brian said. “He’s been through the shit I’ve been through already, so he knows what I need.”

Brian lived with his cousin for less than a month before he was accepted and moved into the Hope Center.

“I have somewhere safe to stay, and a foundation and also having a support team behind me,” Brian said. “[Moving in] was nostalgic to me. That would be a day I won’t ever forget.”

During his time at the Hope Center, Brian started pursuing a higher education through online classes and got a job where he made close connections with his co-workers.

Brian already had his Med Tech License and is a Certified Nursing Assistant so when he got the opportunity to work at a behavioral health hospital, it opened his eyes to another career route he’s passionate about. During his time there, he worked with adolescents supporting mental health services and is now interested in becoming a mental health nurse practitioner.

“never [ had ] i thought that the SITUATION i’ve been through would allow me to still be who i am todAy.”

“Younger generations can really look up to me because never [had] I thought that the situation I’ve been through would allow me to still be who I am today,” Brian said. “Being 19 years old, going through all of this, I will say it has been a journey. I didn’t give up and I am here for it and I’m ready to take it on full blast.”

Having personal experience in a mental health behavioral hospital, Brian brings a deeper understanding and perspective to the position.

“I try to be as connected to someone else as I am with myself,” Brian said. “I like to treat everyone like they’re human… I love doing things like that with people and making a good impact on people’s lives and just being a good spirit to be around.”

Brian cares deeply about human connection and he brings that core value into every aspect of his life.

“Before I even came or even thought I would be here, I’ve always wanted to open up a homeless shelter for kids that were going through stuff like the things that I was going through myself,” Brian said.

Brian plans to enroll in college for an Associate of Applied Science to become a registered nurse. His next step is to obtain a bachelor’s degree and then a master’s to eventually become a nurse practitioner or mental health nurse practitioner. His experience as a patient in recovery taught him what it looks like to be a quality nurse.

“I would say I had a good staff, but it was some nurses and some staff who just didn’t care and it [made] you feel like you still weren’t being seen or heard,” Brian said. ”I can do that in the future years- be able to give back and help kids become better versions of themselves.”

Brian is naturally independent and goal-driven, but Dallas Hope Charities was able to provide him with the stability and resources necessary for a solid foundation for transitioning into adulthood and independent living.

“If there is anyone else out there who is looking for that help or just need[s] the peace of mind from whatever situation they’re in, reach out for help because it’s there,” Brian said. “I’ve been begging for this, something like this… since I was 16, maybe a little bit before that, since I’ve been in an abusive household. So don’t give up. Keep going, keep searching. There’s resources out there,”