Dallas Hope CharitiesDallas Hope Charities
After navigating family rejection, housing insecurity, and identity struggles, Tanner is discovering what it means to live, not just survive
*To protect the privacy of this resident, the individual’s name has been changed in this story.
For the first time in years, Tanner doesn’t feel like he’s constantly bracing for impact. At 19, he’s living in a space where his gender identity is respected, his meals are consistent, and his goals are back in focus.
“Honestly, I think I felt hope on my very first day,” Tanner said. “Just realizing how nice the place was, how much they offered, even basic stuff like groceries. It made me feel like I could finally focus on myself.”
Since moving into the Dallas Hope Center, Tanner has begun building a future he once only imagined: pursuing a certificate in audio engineering and commercial music composition, working as a DoorDash driver to make ends meet, and inching closer to starting hormone replacement therapy. Each step forward feels like a small but meaningful act of reclaiming his life.
Tanner’s path to the Hope Center wasn’t easy. A trans man growing up in a culturally conservative household, he faced both subtle and overt forms of rejection from an early age.
Although he had a roof over his head and two parents at home, the emotional environment was often strained, especially as Tanner began to express his identity. “When I told my mom I wanted to wear a suit to prom, she broke down crying, asking, ‘What did I do wrong?’” he recalled. “They ended up telling me I couldn’t wear it and were going to throw it away.”
Things escalated when Tanner came out as bisexual. His mother sent him to a therapist, hoping to “correct” his orientation with sessions filled with pressure, guilt, and dogma. “Every session became this back-and-forth about how not to be gay. I kept saying, ‘I’m not choosing this,’ but it didn’t matter.”
When he finally moved in with his older sister, it felt like a lifeline. But holding up his share of rent at 17 proved impossible. He cycled through unstable housing before looking for LGBTQ+ affirming housing online and finding the Hope Center.
“I don’t know if my parents will ever accept everything about me, but I hope one day they can understand.”
Tanner now has access to groceries, a kitchen he loves to use, transportation support, and most importantly, a stable, affirming environment.
“It’s really nice to be constantly gendered correctly where I live,” he said. “I think I was in survival mode for so long, and now that I’m not, I can actually think about my future.”
He’s enrolled in a full-time music technology program, where he’s studying audio engineering and digital production. “If everything works out, I’d love to be a sound engineer for venues or musicians,” he said. “I want to be the person behind the scenes making everything work.”
In the meantime, Tanner is working toward three big goals: finishing school, saving money, and medically transitioning. “I’ve had setbacks, especially getting access to HRT, but the support here makes me feel like I’ll get there eventually.”
He’s also learning practical life skills like cooking and budgeting, things he didn’t have the space to think about before. “I always tell people, if you’re thinking about coming to a place like this, come with a plan,” he said. “Even just learning to cook for yourself is a good start.”
Tanner knows that life after the Hope Center will come with its challenges, but for the first time, he feels equipped to face them. “I want to leave here with a job, with HRT in place, and with a stable place to live,” he said.
“I think I was in survival mode for so long, and now that I’m not, I can actually think about my future.”
He’s not sure what the future holds for his relationship with his parents, but for now, distance has helped ease the tension. He says, “I don’t know if my parents will ever accept everything about me, but I hope one day they can understand.”
For now, Tanner is focused on what he can control: his education, his transition, his dreams. And after everything, he’s finally beginning to feel like he’s able to do so much more than just survive.
Morgan has built her career in the business side of tech, leading marketing and strategy initiatives at companies like IBM, Forrester Research, and Reforge. Now an independent consultant and career coach, she helps professionals navigate growth and change. When she’s not working, you’ll likely find her salsa dancing in San Francisco.
